When fate is against you (Harlow Book 1) Read online

  “There are so many people that I walked away from. My disappearing alone would have hurt them, how are they going to feel when they learn about the boys?”

  “They will forgive you El, you left because you had no choice. Just explain it to them.”

  “Bas this town is full of the wealthy.” He shot me a puzzled look not sure of what I was getting at.

  “The rich live for status. The more money you have, the more status you hold. My father is the only billionaire in this town. Even if people here believed my story, they wouldn't accept it. Garret Hastings is too powerful here, for anyone to openly go against him.”

  “I don’t care about anyone in this town El. The only person who needs to understand you is Cole. From what you have told me about him, he never once disbelieved you. He saw the real Garret Hastings.”

  “I am worried about how all this is going to play out. What if Cole has moved on? He could be married by now, with children.

  “El no matter what happens here, you, the boys and I will be leaving this town together. Just as we arrived, as a family.” His words were meant to calm me reassure me, that he was here for me, but the thought that I had hurt Cole so much that he would never forgive me worried me stupid. It might have been five years, but I still loved him. I had spent the years apart from him still living as if we were a couple. My head was telling me we were not together, that he had more than likely moved on, and found someone new, but my heart could never let him go. I had built a life for my children and myself. We were happy, but without Cole there it was never complete. There had always been a giant hole in my life that only Cole could fill. It would crush me to see him with somebody new. That he had done what I couldn’t and had moved on from what we had once been. The thoughts that had plagued my mind and kept me awake the most was the idea he would turn his back on the boys. If he had a family of his own and my kids did not fit into his new life. It would destroy them both. I had told them endless stories about their dad hoping that I could bring him into their lives through my memories. My stories had led the boys to believe that their father was the greatest man to have ever lived. I just hoped that I had not been building them up, only to have it all come crashing down around them.

  “Mummy I need a wee,” Brandon shouted to me from the back of the car breaking up the moment between Bas and myself.

  “Okay sweetie, can you wait a few minutes, and then you can go.” I started the car up and with what felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders I drove away from the Harlow sign. I just hoped that I was not making the biggest mistake of my life.

  Pulling up to the massive gates of my father’s house I just wanted to take a moment for myself. I wanted to be able to collect my thoughts and go into this with a clear head, but when you have a four-year-old in desperate need of the toilet time is not your friend. I pressed the intercom and waited.

  “Mummy I need the toilet now,” Brandon whined from the back of the car. Looking at him through the rear-view mirror I could see he was clutching himself, and dancing in his seat. I pressed the call button again this time impatiently jamming my finger repeatedly.

  “Brandon is going to wee himself.” Jake laughed out mocking his brother.

  “Shut it, Jake,” Bas warned him knowing how Brandon would react if he thought he was being made fun of.

  “Mum I really need to go.” I jammed my finger repeatedly again, but no one was answering. Bas jumped out of the car and rushed to get Brandon. Standing him up against the eight-foot wall that surrounded the manor Brandon relieved himself.

  “I need a wee too.” Jake started to whine worried he was missing out on all the fun, that peeing up a wall could be.

  “No, you don’t.” I snapped at him worried already that my father’s cameras had caught Brandon peeing.

  “Yes, I do.

  “No, you don’t.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Hello.” A voice coming from the intercom broke up the argument in the car before it could escalate.

  “Hi, I am Ella Hastings I believe my father and Anita are expecting us,” I answered as Bas and Brandon climbed back into the car.

  “It is not fair Brandon gets to pee outside, and I don’t,” Jake whined sounding so disappointed.

  I could tell by the slight chuckle that the woman on the intercom was trying not to laugh at what Jake was moaning about.

  “Yes, Miss Glades has been expecting you.” I heard her cough trying to hide her laughter. I just smiled and nodded my head. I had sought to install some sort of social politeness in my kids, but with Bas around it was an impossible task.

  “Wow.” I heard both boys say in wonder as the gates opened.

  “They are magic,” Brandon said his eyes fixated on the gates.

  “I bet a wizard lives here,” Jake said sounding so full of amazement.

  “The devil lives here. Not a wizard.” I mumbled to myself as I started up the driveway.

  “Shit El you said you came from money, but this is…it is…”

  “Big.” I laughed at the expression of awe on Bas’s face as the manor came into view.

  It was an oversized pale peach coloured house with white fixtures that stood out. It housed more bedrooms and bathrooms than a small hotel, and it stood among miles and miles of grounds. The beauty of it was breathtaking, even now seeing it after all these years it still took my breath away.

  “It’s a castle,” Brandon shouted in excitement. I don’t know where he got castle from other than its size it looked nothing like one. My father had designed this house along with the gardens that surrounded it. His passion for the American south was evident from the design of the house. Built to look like a colonial house, from the stairway leading up to the front porch to the balcony that stretched around the second floor, to the towering white support pillars it all screamed American south.

  “I can’t believe you grew up surrounded by all this.” Bas stood in the driveway with his arms outstretched taking in the beauty that was Hastings manor.

  “Trust me the only thing beautiful about this house is the way it looks. Everything else is ugly.” I snapped at him, his words striking a nerve.

  “Sorry, El I did not mean anything by it. I know you told me you grew up with money but believing it and experiencing it are two different things.”

  “I know, I’m sorry it’s just people have always just seen this. They never saw past it, and that was how my father got away with everything. It's hard for people to imagine that someone who grew up with all this could be unhappy.”

  “You took the boy from a council estate and showed him all this. How did you think I was going to react?” He joked as he got Brandon out the car.

  “This means nothing to me El. Just because the wrapping paper is all shiny, and beautiful does not mean that the gift inside isn’t crap. I would never think you had made it all up just because the outside is all tied up in a bow.

  “Come on Jake time to get out the car?” As I helped Jake out the car, I couldn’t help but hope Bas would still see it that way after he had seen the inside. If the outside had amazed him, the interior was going to leave him speechless. After all, this house was my father’s most celebrated work ever.

  Taking hold of Jake’s hand, I looked back up towards the house. Bas and Brandon had already made it up the porch stairs and were standing by the door. Taking a sharp breath, I pulled together what little strength I had left. At this time of day, my father would more than likely be at his downtown office, so that gave me some time to get it together before seeing him, but Anita would be at home, and after her visit last week I was just as anxious to see her as I was my father.

  She had always been the bitch, the evil stepmother in my life. She never went out of her way to make me feel bad, but she never stopped my father either. She and I had come to a silent agreement to stay out of each other's way. So, to say I was shocked to find her on my doorstep last week after never actually speaking to her was an understatement.


  The sight of her that day stunned me so much, all I could do was just stare at her as if she was some sort of illusion. It had been nine years since we had last seen each other, and she looked the same as if no time had passed at all. Her brown hair was kept in the same neat bun that sat on the top of her head. She still dressed in a pencil skirt and jacket as if the eighties had never ended.

  “Ella.” Her voice was shaky, she could barely manage to say my name. She threw me a quick glance unable to look me in the eye. Her gaze was fixated on her hands as she nervously twisted them. It made me feel at ease seeing her knowing that she was feeling just as anxious as I was. The sight of her nerves had given me the strength that I knew I would need to get me through her visit.

  “What do you want?” Drawing from my new-found inner strength, I found the hidden bitch inside of me. Bas had taken the boys to the park, and I needed her gone before they returned.

  “I need to talk, about your father.” She moved her eyes from her hands, and this time she looked directly at me. My bitchy attitude must of spark something inside of her because all I could see in her now was determination.

  “Is he dead?” I had not intended to come across as hopeful as I had, but if he were dead, then it would mean I could start to correct all the wrongs that I had made in my life. The first being Cole, and his family. I needed to fix things for my boys and being able to go back to Harlow would be a start.

  “What no,” My hopefulness over my father’s death had made her voice come out in a high pitch squeak. The look of disgust she was giving me at being overjoyed at the prospect of my father’s death had made me want to laugh.

  “Then I have nothing to say to you.” As I went to slam the door in her face, she quickly shoved her handbag in the way stopping me.

  “Move it,” I screamed at her.

  “Can't you get the hint, I do not want you here, I do not wish to hear what you have to say.

  “Not until you have heard me out, you at least owe me that.”

  “What I owe you?” I flung the door wide open in a temper, her words had hit me hard.

  “I owe you nothing.” I could feel my temperature rise in anger. Balling my fists by my side, I struggled to hold myself back from tearing her apart.

  “You just watched as he treated me like nothing more than dog muck on his shoe.”

  “I am so sorry; I swear I never knew how bad it really was for you. I thought you were just acting out.” I laughed out loud causing tears to fall down my face. I had never heard anything in my life so comical.

  “Two years we lived in that house together, and you are telling me not once did you see how he was treating me.”

  “You have to listen to me?” She was begging me, her eyes struggling to hold back her tears. She sounded desperate. As if this was her last hope.

  “Why do I have, to listen to you?”

  “Because he is killing himself,” She screamed out.

  “Hallelujah, you know where to send, the congratulations card, when he finally does.”

  “Ella, he is your father, how can you say that?”

  “He tossed me aside, made me homeless, wake up Anita he is a monster.”

  “He regrets it, he regrets it all Ella, he loves you.”

  “What the fuck, have you always been so delusional, he loves me.” She believed it too; I could tell by the way her eyes, were begging me to believe her.

  “He is drinking morning, noon and night. It is the only way he can hold back the guilt and pain. It is killing him.”

  Do you honestly think I care? That to hear that the guilt he feels, over all the years of abuse he gave me, is killing him. I hope it is tearing him to pieces.”

  “Have you no heart?” She said looking at me as if I was the villain in this story.

  “He wants to ask for your forgiveness; he wants to make amends for all he has done.” She spat at me as if I was the most despicable person she had ever met.

  “I don't want his forgiveness; nothing could ever make me forgive him.” I couldn't believe, the nerve of this woman. How dare she come to my home and ask me to forgive that man after all he had done to me.

  “That's gross. Brandon just licked my ear.” I suddenly heard Jake whine out.

  “Brandon what the hell, why did you do that?” Great, I thought to myself, shutting my eyes. Hoping that I had heard wrong and that Bas was not coming home with the boys.

  “You have to go.” I started to push her down the path. I needed her gone, like yesterday. I did not want her finding out about Jake and Brandon.

  “Please Ella, please. “She began to beg, as I dragged her down the path. I did not want her meeting the twins. She did not know about them, and it had to stay that way. If she knew, she would tell my father.

  She broke free of me and backed away. I was just about to grab her again, desperate to get her away from here before the boys came. When Brandon suddenly came bursting into the garden.

  “Mum Jake is telling lies; I never licked him,” Brandon said rushing to tell me his side of the story before Jake could get there first.

  “Hello, who are you?” Brandon said coming to a sudden stop when he noticed the stranger in the garden. He held out his hand, just like Bas had shown him, for Anita to shake.

  “My name is Brandon.”

  “Go on into the house.” I quickly snapped at him, I might have come across harsh, but Brandon could not tell her his surname.

  “Go and watch TV,” I said needing him far away from Anita.

  “I still get to watch TV? I don't have to sit on the naughty step until I am sorry?” He asked feeling pleased with himself.

  “We will talk about it later, for now, go and watch TV,” Brandon could have shaved off all of Jake's hair, and I would have let him get away with it right now. I just needed him to leave and go into the house.

  “Yes.” He screeched out as he ran into the house.

  “El, Brandon licked Jake and then raced off. Oh, hello.” Bas stopped when he noticed Anita in the garden. Jake ran straight to me. He hated strangers, he was so timid. Jake always felt uncomfortable when confronted with people that he did not know. Clinging on to me or Bas was his way of making sure that he was safe.

  “Hi, Bas Harper.” Bas offered Anita, his hand, but she never noticed it she was too busy staring at Jake with a small smile on her face.

  “They are identical, we heard you had twins,” Anita said sounding smug and sure of herself. I just froze, and my legs turned to jelly. Of course, she knew about Jake and Brandon. I screamed in my head. I bet her, and my father had been watching me for years. How else would she have known where I was living?

  “Excuse me but who are you?” Bas saw the look of panic rush over me, and instantly he became guarded.

  “Jake, go and see what your brother is doing,” Bas said wrapping his arm around my waist. I had never felt the need for his support both physically and emotionally as much as I did right now. Her words crippling me with fear.

  “Anita.” She offered him her hand, but Bas just looked at it in disgust. Having told him about my past, he hated this woman just as much as I did.

  “He knows?” My voice broke as I fought to control myself. This was what I had lived in fear of. I just knew my life was going to be torn apart again, and the happy, carefree life I had made here for my children was over.

  “Jake, why don’t you go into the house?” Bas asked him, trying to pick him up, but Jake refused to let go of my legs. He clung to them as if they were his lifeline.

  “I want to stay, with Mummy.” Jake sounded scared. He was an emotional person and would pick up, on other people’s moods so quickly. I picked him up and took him in my arms. He needed to feel as if everything was okay, and that I was all right. That this strange woman was not a threat to me.

  “I need to talk to the lady. Can you do me a big favour and watch Brandon? Make sure he hasn't found the biscuits.” I put on a fake carefree attitude and threw him a smile. Jake nodded his little head.
He still looked unsure, and upset, but he gave me a smile. I placed him back down on the ground and watched as he ran into the house.

  “You need to go.” Bas glared at Anita as he demanded that she leave. Ever since we had met five years ago, he had taken on the role of big brother to me, and I had never felt so blessed, so grateful as I did right now that he had been the policeman that had been sent to move me on.

  “Ella please.” She began to cry, and blubber as she realised her time was up, with Bas standing next to me, showing her, he was here for me, she knew this conversation was over.

  “This is my last chance; I don't know how to help him. Please Ella, please just see him, talk to him. I think it would be good for both of you. Please, I am begging you.” I felt sorry for her; she seemed to be a woman near breaking, and I was her last hope.

  “I am sorry, but I can’t bring myself to ever see him again. To face him would be a mistake. I would be opening the doors again to that life, and I refused to let it happen, I am happy, my boys are happy. I am sorry Anita my father's wellbeing, and happiness is no concern of mine.”

  “There is nothing I can do, to get you just to talk to him?” She seemed so defeated as she spoke. I shook my head sadly. I had never seen somebody look so dejected as her.

  She turned to walk away; her shoulders sagged in defeat.

  “What about Cole?” She said abruptly, turning around to look at me.

  I gripped onto Bas, did I hear her, right? Did she just threaten me? Was she going to use my own children against me?

  “I know Cole is their father,” She said noticing the sudden terror on my face.